Well, I’m officially living in Colorado now…for better or worse. It has definitely been an adventure (and will continue being an adventure until I start getting regular paychecks). Hank and I are both incredibly broke, and I won’t have a paycheck I can use until May 8th (I’ll get my first check April 22nd, but it will basically pay next month’s rent and that’s it). This is going to be painful. I HATE being broke.
I need to call my insurance company and ask them to postpone my automatic payment until the 22nd–then I’ll probably also have to borrow money from my parents again in order to pay rent after that comes out. This isn’t going to be an easy month. At least Hank is within walking distance of work…and I won’t be working too far away from home, so the gas that’s in my car should last a while.
I’m pretty excited about my new job. I’m nervous as well, but I think my excitement outweighs my nerves. Most of the time, anyway. It’s been a pretty trying week…I miss my friends and the normalcy of Indiana, but I’m so happy to finally be out of there. My emotions are constantly up and down because of that. Poor Hank has had to listen to me cry a couple of times…kudos to him for dealing with my crazy. He’s pretty much the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I’m sure I’ll be better once I start working and get out of the apartment on my own on a regular basis.
We finally have the bedroom set up basically the way it’s going to stay. I need to reorganize the closet and get my clothes hung up and put away, but that’s my plan for this evening while Hank is at work. I’m excited to get it all done. The clutter is making me crazy.
Here goes nothing!
Things are getting really real around here. I will be moving to Colorado in two weeks… TWO WEEKS. It’s so strange to think about. I’m worried and stressed and excited and happy and terrified–all at once.
I’m still in Colorado at the moment, actually; I came out for a week before I officially move. It is definitely going to take some getting used to, living in a different state without everyone I’m used to having around me on a daily basis. It was different when I moved to Tennessee because yeah, I had close friends, but not as many as I have now, and not ones that I was used to seeing every single day. I’m going to miss everyone that I’m used to having around every day; I’m going to miss being able to call up one of three people to hang out whenever I feel like it.
I know I’m going to make new friends. I’m going to find a job (I hope) and meet new people, and it’s not as if I don’t already have friends here. I have Tanjha and Hank by default, and most of their friends seem to like me… It’s just going to be strange not sharing everything with Troy and Rachel and Weeze like I do normally.
And, as terrible as it sounds, I have to keep reminding myself that Hank is not Jordan or Sebert. I realize that should be a no-brainer, but I really just keep going over horrible what-if scenarios in my head. I love him, and he’s done nothing but prove to me over and over again that he’s nothing like the other guys I’ve been with–it’s just that after everything I’ve been through and after realizing my astonishing ability to make one bad life choice after another, it’s incredibly hard for me to fully put myself out there and just trust that everything is going to be fine.
Everything is going to be fine.
How long has it been since I updated this thing? I need to brush up on my CSS skills and whip out a new theme. This one is old and boring and doesn’t reflect me at all anymore. I need to actually start using this blog for something. Maybe I can start posting some of my actual writing–not the random ramblings I’ve always done before. I always have great ideas for it and then decide I’m too busy. But there’s no time like the present, right? It’s not like I’m in school anymore.
I need a big kid job. I’m so over the damn video store; six years is too long! But, I’m not convinced I want to end up in Indiana…and I doubt I could find anything good around here, anyway. I spent a week in Colorado with Tanjha last month and fell in love with Denver all over again. I should just go ahead and let her talk me into moving out there. I’m ready for more of a change; what could be a better change than moving a thousand miles away? Added bonus: I met a very cute, very sweet guy while I was out there that I have been talking to every day since and can’t get out of my head. So, there’s that.
I moved in with Rach again last weekend… It’s so much better this time around. I was afraid I was going to hate it again (but I was willing to put up with that in order to save money), but I love it. Raeanne and Gage are older, I have the two rooms that make up the attic all to myself, and I’ve really missed Rach. We stayed up until 5AM Tuesday for no reason at all other than wine and girly conversation. It was fantastic. I’m trying to pretend like I don’t still have to box up and move the rest of the crap from my old house this weekend. If it could all just come to me without me having to deal with it, that’d be great.
Hum. I’m watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang…I will forever love Jessie for making me watch this movie. Val Kilmer and Robert Downey, Jr…yes, please. I’m going to get back to that.
Perry: Look up “idiot” in the dictionary. You know what you’ll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No, the definition of the word “idiot”, which you fucking are!