Archive for the ‘worries’ Category

Here I am, stuck again between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Everyone is telling me something different, of course. I know the only thing I should do is follow my heart, but I don’t know where the hell it’s going. I never thought I would be in a place like this. I’ve been wishing for an “easy” button, but a good friend let me know that life doesn’t come with one.

Everything has changed now. He wants to be friends. What does that mean? …And how am I supposed to deal with that when he’s the one that changed his mind about our relationship… not me? How I felt about him never changed. I don’t know if I can be his friend without always wanting to be more. Yes, he has hurt me. More than I ever thought he could be able to. But I didn’t marry him expecting everything to be sunshine and butterflies. I just didn’t expect… this. I’m not sure what to do. I’m getting mixed signals all over the place, and I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t want to cause more problems, but I don’t want to leave any stone left unturned; any question left unasked or unanswered.

I had a week where I was doing alright… actually eating and getting things done. And I had a fantastic weekend with friends. But, then all this happens. Don’t get me wrong-I’m glad to have the answers that I’ve wanted all along, and I’m glad he’s done being a jerk… But, it’s not making this easier to deal with. My nerves are running wild again and I can barely eat a thing. I can’t think about anything else – having false hope makes me sick in so many ways. I just have no idea what to do.